Two Hearts Broken By Soft Words Spoken
by Mirrored Illusions
Summary: Buffy patrols a random cemetery and reminiscences on her relationship with Angel, and ponders over her sister Slayer.


Disclaimer: I don't own the Buffyverse, that belongs to Joss Whedon.

Warnings: Not beta'd.

Notes: This fic was originally written for Day 1 of 31daysoffandom on LJ. It was posted over there on May 1st, 2016 but for some reason it wasn't crossposted anywhere. I'll backdate it at a later point.

Title from East 17's "Do U Still?".

She's walking through yet another cemetery, twirling one of the multiple stakes she brought with her in her right hand while surveying the undisturbed graves all around her. There's nothing but tombstones, flowers, and trees within the low surrounding stone wall. There isn't even a single mausoleum, which means no nifty look-out point and nowhere to hide if things turn ugly. Nothing alive or undead anywhere, except her. The dead here are truly dead or at least they will be for another night or two. It's times like this she really misses Angel, especially when he was in a good mood and was willing to stop every now and then to share smoochies. Or you know, give her a victory smooch after dusting one or more vamps in an attempt to calm her adrenaline, or maybe he just wanted her to give him one of her triumphant and genuinely happy grins. Not that his cool and very kissable lips ever calmed her down, more like got her even more excited. Even if it was another kind of excitement, one they could never indulge in again.

Buffy sighed, there was no point in strolling down memory lane but she just couldn't help herself. There was nothing to get there, other than heartache. Angel was her past. He hadn't been her first boyfriend, or even her second or third, but he was the first one she had truly loved and not just wanted because he was popular and would increase her own popularity. He was also older than anyone she had dated before, and that was before you added all the years as an undead vampire. Really, he'd been 26 when Darla had sired him, what was he thinking dating a 15-16 year old teenage girl? Or what was Giles thinking for that matter only focusing on the vampire/Slayer part of their relationship?

Not that she would've listed to any of it; Angel had been tall, dark, and handsome. On top of that he had been older and mysterious. An irresistible combination for her shallow teenage self, even with the Hemery High wake-up call. He had been able to defend himself without her having to constantly worry that something would bite him, and a second bite would do nothing to him anyways other than annoy him. It also helped that they could fight side by side using only eye-contact and body language to communicate. On rare occasions they still did that and every time she wanted to wish out loud that they were back in the late 90's again, and she was a (mostly) innocent teenager again.

Over the years she had gotten something similar with Faith, but without the sexual attraction. Or at least there was no attraction on Buffy's part, but who knew how the other Slayer really felt. The woman would flirt with anything that had a pulse and some that didn't. And yes, she was fully aware of her own double standard on that one. Dawn had insisted several times over the years that Faith had been in love with her since she arrived in Sunnydale, or at the very least that she had a long-lasting crush on Buffy.

Yes, Faith was often very touchy-feely with her, always had been, it didn't really matter if it was bumping shoulders, throwing an arm around her shoulders and hip-checking her, grabbing her arm to get her to move faster, or simply running her hand down Buffy's arm or back. She wasn't like that with the others, or at least not to the same degree she would be with her. It wasn't something Buffy thought about much, she was definitely straight, and Faith knew it. It was just part of the way the two of them interacted.

Angel on the other hand could hit on her as long as his soul was superglued, stapled, and otherwise stuck inside his body, and they were both single at the same time. Bad idea or not, he was the one who got away and she would probably keep making that mistake. Over and over again.

Kissing Angel made her world reassert itself, if only for a little while before reality came crashing back. She needed it and she knew Angel drew strength from it as well. It was both a reassurance that they were still there, still in love, and still had something worth fighting for. It was never more than one kiss and a hug. All clothes remained firmly on, wandering hands keeping away from certain strategic areas. It was too much and nowhere near enough, but it was all they could afford.

Buffy resolutely shut down that train of thought and gave the cemetery a last thorough survey before she excited and walked home, back to her empty apartment and cold bed.


End file.
